One of the great joys of creative work is unexpected inspiration that comes, as if by magic, from the hidden depths of the imagination. This can take many forms. Mozart walked the streets of Vienna with a terrible headache, finally dashing back to his room to write down a complete symphony.

Recently, in the flow of writing my new play, a character blurted out, “Find yourself outside yourself, as the earth encircles the sun.” I was thrilled! The perfect line for that character, and nothing I could have predicted.

Now, in the holiday season, when we are bombarded with the mandate to Give, I ask myself what that phrase really means.: find yourself outside yourself…

On the surface, it seems to prescribe a life of selfless devotion in service to others, the very mandate that has turned so many people away from organized religion. “Give up myself?” some would say, “but I have been struggling to find my true self for years! “

The word sacrifice comes from the Latin, “sacred” and “to make”: to make sacred.  It can be a sacred discovery to find joy in giving to others.  Charles Dickens immortalized this in the character of Ebenezer Scrooge. The ghosts in his dreams hold a mirror to Scrooge’s soul, and he comes to understand himself as never before. He sees how much he has lost by clinging to his small obsessions and desires. With self-knowledge, he can look “outside himself”, and is transformed from a man who lives “inside himself” to one who gives ebulliently to others.

“Making sacred” could also mean that you can “find yourself” by sacrificing your frantic pursuit of self-esteem through the approval of others.  This opens a space in the psyche for the true self, the part of us motivated to manifest our sacred destiny, however eccentric or unconventional that may be. We no longer give away our power to others or over-value their evaluation of us.

We are free.

When we learn to approve of and love ourselves, we can see “outside” with new eyes. The needs and opinions of others take on a different reality. We aren’t dependent on other people to define who we are, so we can reach out to them, celebrate their achievements, learn from them, extend love, curiosity, and forgiveness.

This is a profound journey, and a life long one: to become evermore awake to the dimensions of our whole self.  Then, we can join Scrooge in exuberant generosity, fully able to discern what, and to whom to give our love and energy.