As November approaches, I find myself reflecting on the nature of power: who seeks it, where the desire for power comes from, and what is “personal power”?

What of people who see themselves as “power-less”?

Can we learn to claim a personal power cradled in self-worth that cannot be destroyed by others?

In his legendary work, Man’s Search for Meaning, Jewish psychiatrist Viktor Frankl wrote of his experience in the Nazi death camps. He discovered that those most likely to survive found a source of spiritual and personal power deep within themselves that even the greatest evil could not destroy

The ancient Jewish mystical tradition, the Kabbalah, articulated that value and meaning come into the world as opposites. Our world and our human psyche, are subject to a continual process of fragmentation and restoration.  In the unifying of these forces, healing and goodness emerge.

Carl Jung echoes this theme in his construct of the “tension of the opposites”, for example, Power and Love.  According to the Kabbalah, when these are torn asunder, evil flourishes. Viktor Frankl experienced this in Nazi Germany. We see it anew in Syria, and other places around the world.

In a more intimate arena, we see it every day in our own lives. How often do we succumb to an unconscious moment that splits power and love: when we break in front of someone in a grocery line, putting our own small-ego needs above respect for others; when we yell at a child because we cannot summon the patience to listen to what she really needs; when we refuse to visit a dying relative because it would disrupt our ambitious lives.

Another critical aspect of healing this split is learning to assert your power with others. When you refuse to surrender to the role of a victim, it is an act of self love.  When you appropriately assert your needs, values, or opinions , your inner power unites with self love.

This is a profound journey for many of us. It is especially challenging to learn to love yourself if you were not sufficiently loved as a child.

But, it is possible to achieve the most powerful kingdom: your self.